Observations from a childcaring role

Having spent a couple weeks as a home-dude, taking care of a seven-year-old and organizing around the house, I'm really stricken by the irony and unfairness of what used to be termed "women's work" being pretty much a managerial position (with hyperactive, forgetful employees you can't fire, who require frequent hand-holding and personalized attention that executives find burdensome) that is paid far less than the equivalent work done in an office building.

Most often it is women who end up poor and struggling, responsible for the most important "job" for society, that of not messing up a kid's brain while their little synapses wire up, when their partners move on to greener pastures as their own work experience gives them more opportunities and access to mates. Those women (and the growing number of men who prefer being home-dudes) are often shamed for accepting government aid and ashamed to show a food card in line at the supermarket; they receive no credit and miniscule financial compensation for a job equivalent to running a small business with a shoestring budget and entertaining but unmanageable ADHD employees.

 I'm glad more men are getting that experience, because it's only by doing someone else's work that you really understand what kind of work it is and what sort of recognition it deserves. I'm glad it's work I'm happy doing, but I wouldn't expect corporate overachievers to have any respect for it. Many would scrutinize my "man card" and accuse me of lacking drive and goals. They would not say, "You've shown adaptability, problem-solving, communication and personnel management, resource management, time organization, and responsibility with a great attitude. You need to work for us, it's hard to find people with those skills."

For me, the admiration of a tiny human and the affection of her mom is more than enough. But for women abandoned in divorce whose lack of proportional compensation and recognition forces them to take on exhausting and stressful second jobs without benefits rather than executive perks and rewards, there is an extra burden. And that is grossly unjust, given the level of blaming and shaming of poor single moms and "unemployed", attentive dads. The "entitlements" offered by government hardly cover what their contribution to the world is worth, yet many would say they aren't trying hard enough, because they're not being compensated in high-status ways.